Caught in the Middle: Self-Care Strategies for the Sandwich Generation

Watching your parent’s health decline is one of life’s most gut-wrenching experiences. One day, they’re the strong figure who guided you, and the next, you’re navigating doctor’s appointments, safety concerns, and a growing emotional load. If you’re raising a family at the same time, the pressure can feel relentless. But you're not alone—and you don't have to carry it all without tools, support, and a plan.

My mom with my youngest Ashby, 10 years ago

I’m usually the big energy, positive one—the one who cheers everyone on, gets it all done, keeps the plates spinning. But sometimes… it hits me. Hard. The weight of everything I’m carrying. The constant giving—helping my mom, raising my family, showing up for everyone. And then suddenly, I feel it in my bones: I’m depleted

If I haven’t paused to refuel myself—really check in—I notice the signs. I get short with the people I love. I snap. I crave junk or just want to scroll my phone into oblivion. I start drifting from myself. And that’s my signal.

That’s when I know I need to stop, feel, breathe—and give myself the same care I give to everyone else. Because I matter too. You do too.

Let’s talk about how to manage the emotional weight of caregiving, and more importantly, how to take care of you in the process.

The Emotional Toll of Watching Your Parent Decline

Caregiving comes with a complicated mix of emotions:

Grief Before Loss – You may find yourself grieving the parent they used to be, even as they’re still physically here. It’s called anticipatory grief, and it’s real.
Guilt and Self-Doubt – Am I doing enough? Am I doing it right? Why do I feel so frustrated? (Spoiler alert: Because you’re human.)
Resentment and Anger – These feelings aren’t bad—they’re signals. Let them guide you toward change, not shame.
Anxiety and Fear – What’s coming next? Will I be able to handle it? The uncertainty alone is exhausting.
Emotional & Physical Burnout – Being “on” all the time is unsustainable. Period.

The Role Reversal: You’re the Grown-Up Now

No one prepares you for the moment you realize your parent needs you to lead. The tables have turned, and it’s disorienting.

You’re Now the Caregiver – Whether part-time or full-time, it’s a shift in identity that takes time to process.
Boundaries Are Blurry – You’re helping with bills or hygiene—but also trying to respect their independence.
Family Dynamics Resurface – Siblings may show up—or not. Tensions can rise. Communication becomes essential.

Taking Care of Yourself: Strategies to Stay Grounded and Strong

You can't show up for everyone else if you're running on empty. Here’s how to refill your tank—without guilt.

1. Name and Normalize Your Emotions

Journal. Talk. Cry. Breathe. Repeat.
Vent to someone who won’t try to fix it—just hold space.

2. Don’t Go It Alone

Support Groups: In-person or online, connection is powerful.
Therapy: Especially helpful for guilt, grief, or navigating tough family dynamics.

3. Daily Self-Care That Works

Move Your Body: Stretch, walk, dance—it doesn't have to be intense to work.
Rest Without Earning It: You don’t have to “deserve” a break. You need one.
Find Joy: Even 5 minutes of reading, a favorite show, or laughing with a friend can lift the fog.

4. Set Boundaries Without Apology

Say no. Let someone else cook, clean, drive, decide.
Use phrases like: “I can’t do that right now,” or “Can we revisit that next week?”

5. Stay Organized to Stay Sane

Use a shared family calendar or caregiving app.
Keep a notebook with meds, appointments, and contacts—your brain will thank you.

6. Create Micro-Moments of Joy

Look through old photos with your parent.
Share a cup of tea in silence.
Let beauty and humor interrupt the hard.

7. Plan Ahead to Ease the Unknown

Legal documents, healthcare directives, and financial planning matter.
Having these in place gives you and them peace of mind.

You Are Not Alone—and You Are Doing Enough

Here’s what I want you to hear: You’re doing your best in an impossible situation. You’re allowed to feel conflicted. You’re allowed to ask for help. You’re allowed to put yourself on your own priority list.

This isn’t just about caring for your parents. It’s about protecting yourself, your energy, your joy—and modeling for your kids what love and resilience look like.

Take the walk. Make the call. Close the door for 15 minutes.

You are needed, you are appreciated, and you are not alone on this path.

Big Hugs,

Barbara

🌟 Need More Support?

Whether you’re grieving, caregiving, or somewhere in the middle of the mess—we’re in this together.

👇 Here’s how I can support you: ✨ 1:1 Guidance Sessions + Care Chats → TheSandwichedGen.com

✨ Step-by-step roadmap → My eBook, “When Roles Reverse”, is packed with real-life insight, practical tips, and everything I wish I knew sooner. It’s written for people like you—holding it all together with love and duct tape.

Because when the roles reverse, having a plan isn’t just helpful—it’s everything. 💗

#SandwichedGeneration #CaregiverSupport #AgingParents #LegacyMatters #GriefSupport #EndOfLifeCare #BarbaraStratte #WhenRolesReverse